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However, the trend changes drastically in secondary school especially after Form Three with a sizeable number of girls leaving partly due to a number of reasons that include early marriages, the onset of menstruation and shortage of school fees among others.I know a lot of girls who have been easily convinced to become wives of men who provide them with money for sanitary pads that their poor parents cannot afford.As one uncle put it to me [I’m Congolese], “If you married a Nigerian, how would you cope if he wanted to retire in Nigeria? Could we really say that relationships would be easier if we were with someone of the same origin?

It was for this reason that I began to look for like-minded guys who were also from my own culture, guys I could relate to. I know my family would be pleased if I brought home a Congolese man, but what if I do so to my own detriment? Love blinds common sense.” The idea of retiring in a country totally unfamiliar to me is quite daunting and something I know would take a lot of discussion with my future partner, if he happened to have a different country of origin.The other challenge that we face as girls is that of getting clean water within our community.In the dry season in particular we wake up at 4a.m. The well that we get water for drinking and cooking is 6 kms away; imagine walking that distance everyday with a 20-litre bucket on your head?Am I saying that those who date outside of their culture are not in tune with their own?Certainly not, but they certainly have embraced other cultures more and are willing to look past any real, imagined or expected obstacles.

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