Asian parents on dating
In an abusive relationship, there are no options: the only thing to do is to leave, and if that isn't possible, to seek protection.", which is now one of the most widely-read articles on my website.
Readers regularly write me email responses (summarized in a follow-up article) and post their own stories in the Asian kids and parents discussion forum.
My original article portrayed some Asian parents in an extremely negative light, but it never explored their possible motivations.
It presupposed that they were harsh and overbearing, and sternly warned that their parenting style would harm their children.
Even if your parents were part of the middle class back in their home country, their quality of life paled in comparison to the comfort and stability experienced by middle-class American families right after World War II.
A little history lesson: In the decades immediately following World War II, pretty much every Asian country was decimated by the war, still in the Stone Age, led by an oppressive dictator who jailed and killed people at will, or some grotesque combination of the three. Your American friends' parents were going on dates to drive-in movies, grabbing milkshakes at the local diner, dancing to Elvis music, and had no troubles finding employment in their teens and early twenties, regardless of whether they went to a good college (or any college at all, for that matter). No wonder they encourage their kids to go on dates, to have an active social life, and to just go to some college but doesn't matter if it's a top-notch one.
I know it's tempting to go absolutely nuts as soon as you are able to escape your oppressive Asian household, but c'mon, it's so damn cliched, and your peers will think that you're pathetic.) I think Option 2 is noble but destined to fail. Because your parents will never take your words seriously.
"You mention nothing at all about getting high school or university counsellors, or Child Protective Services (or the local equivalent), or even the police involved, but for many people in abusive relationships, getting an external authority involved is the right thing to do.In this article, I want to attempt to get into the minds of the parents I had previously maligned, to speculate on why they might feel so strongly about topics like their children's choices of college majors and careers.I've drawn much of the material from conversations with and about Chinese immigrants in my parents' generation.Of course, my insights are far from scientific, so the usual disclaimers about anecdotal evidence apply here.So you're a kid currently growing up in a household with overbearing Asian parents, the sort that probably: I'll briefly talk about Options 1 and 2 and then spend the majority of this article on Option 3, which I feel is the only reasonable choice.